All parents say the wrong things sometimes, but experts say choose your words wisely.
Spot on! This article has hit the nail on its head, the words /phrases uttered by us, the adults not only demoralize the children but goes around 180 degrees and comes back with renewed venom and in the process we get a bitter taste of our own medicine. Experiences do warn me never to be foul mouthed, but more often than not these warning signs are ignored, due to my own stress levels and end up facing the wrath! I would definitely like to rephrase the idiom “look before you leap” into “think before you say” for the words uttered can never be recalled and they get ingrained in the child’s brain, the moment I speak it out!
I can easily fit into the shoes of the parent as identified by the experts in this post and normally say the same five phrases that damage the child’s psyche and boomerang on us! As toddlers and infants, they blindly copy and imitate what we say or do and the reaction is more spontaneous, without the element of the thought process and therefore less harmful. But as they turn into adolescents, this undergoes an enormous change,with increasing thinking faculties and friends’ directives, and the repercussions are far more lethal and damaging to the upbringing. The atmosphere is charged up and the swear words only increase in geometric proportion! These words have two fold manifestation, one in the mind and the other a retaliatory reaction. The morale of the child goes down and he or she starts to introspect whether something is really wrong with him or her resulting in a negative loop. He starts thinking that all is not well and his actions henceforth would suggest a demotivated outlook. Sir Isaac Newton’s law of “every action has an equal and opposite reaction” is the gospel of truth and so beware a ugly sentence can be magnified manifold with greater velocity.
However, is it easier said than done, can we practice what we preach? Maybe yes, by repeated attempts to mellow down when we are irritated with their behaviour, we could slowly inch towards near perfection. Delaying the reaction time to bad behaviour could reduce the frequency and intensity of the expletives. Also, moving away to take time to cool off would go a long way in accomplishing this onerous task!